the countdown begins...

i may or may not have started freaking out this morning. i woke up to the baby kicking me & it hit me...

i have 3.5 months until i am a parent. a mother. a life giver. a comforter. a consoler. a sheer & utter MESS. yes - that's right. 3.5.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

its this weird countdown b/c i'm BEYOND EXCITED but also BEYOND SCARED to death. there is no way to prepare for this! the nursery is beginning to fill up with goodies & everytime i put something new in there my heart beats a little faster. its amazing the anxiety level that is crossed with complete joy.

*deep breaths

i have nesting fever every other day. i keep rearranging stuff in our house. my poor husband can't ever find his clothes b/c i keep rearranging our closet and dresser. he told me today that it took him 15 minutes to find a towel the other day. oops! sorry babe. but to my defense we have a teeny tiny apt that we are trying to squeeze a bunch of new things in to. such a crazy time.

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i never knew it was possible to love someone so much never having met them. i can't wait to meet you baby girl.

24. 5 weeks

giraffes and then some!

when erik & i first started dating he asked me to go with him to the zoo. i couldn't go with him b/c nebraska was hosting texas that year and no way could i miss that game. yes, i'm a good husker GO BIG RED! :) an inside joke started and we planned to help marty the giraffe escape from the omaha zoo [marty even sent erik a package on his bday of items to help with the mission]. the joke continued and when erik asked me to be his wife he gave me a stuffed giraffe.

so...with our beautiful daughter arriving in just a few short months...we are forcing her to like giraffe stuff. :) we just got our car seat & stroller in. [thanks g & j for the wonderful car seat!!] orange is my favorite color & it just happens to have giraffes on it. couldn't be more perfect.




here is the most adorable outfit i just bought this weekend. i'm thinking she will probably come home in this. i loved this outfit so much i registered for it in two other sizes! i refuse to let her grow out of it! :)

so the fun stuff is arriving! my wonderful friend janelle & her husband brian have been incredibely generous in letting us borrow some stuff from them. they have loaded us up on baby girl clothes & even a rocker/glider for the nursery. thank you jensens!!!

we are anxiously awaiting our trip home to nebraska for a week. we can't wait for the hustad/lovelace/miller weekend at mahoney. each family has certainly grown & will continue to do so! i'm sure b/w all the ladies we will have thousands of pictures! :)

a special week

a few short days ago i celebrated my 26th bday. what many people don't realize is that 12 days later i get to celebrate another just as important day. i'm adopted. my homecoming day [the day my parents held me in their arms & took me home] has always been a very special day. i'm blessed beyond blessed beyond blessed for the wonderful parents i have. i was reminded of the blessing of this quickly approaching day when reading my sister in law's blog. her son was also adopted. 1 year ago today. today is declan's homecoming day. although i love all my neices & nephews - i do feel a special bond with deckers b/c we share something many people will not ever be able to understand. being hand picked is priceless. such an amazing gift.


i'm so thankful for how my parents modeled what it means to sacrificially & unconditionally love their children. i'm amazed by erik's parents & how they raised 4 children to be God-fearing & loving individuals. of course this instills some confidence in how we will be as parents - but right now i feel mostly fear. a fear of messing up. we are reading all the parenting books & what not...but i am more thankful that the Lord has given us wonderful parents that we can turn to for advice. i know i was perfect child [ha!] so i'm sure our little one will be a princess just like me. :)

almost 23 weeks